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Les règles du Black Metal et d'autres conneries

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Black Winter View Drop Down
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Le Parrain

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    Posted: 26 Juillet 2007 at 18:04
a lire, et à confirmer des grands black metaleux du forum ,avec esprit large


101 rules of black metal:

1. Don't be gay.
2. Be "true".
3. All people who aren't "true" are gay.
4. Be grim.
5. Be necro.
6. Be simultaneously grim and necro if at all possible.
7. Break things while being grim and necro.
8. Don't have fun at concerts. Stand around with arms crossed.
9. Repeat all above while denouncing organized religion in any form.
10. Never ever, EVER under ANY circumstances...
11. ...Listen to Peccatum.
12. When someone asks you if you enjoy the music of Mayhem, point out that you only enjoy the music of "the true" Mayhem. Maniac is gay.
13. Don't play with fuzzy things, excepting that by "play" you mean "burn".
14. Don't be Dani Filth.
15. Never, ever, under any circumstances utter the phrase "Kenny G slams, man."
16. Don't be Dani Filth.
17. When your mom tells you to take out the garbage tell her that you're too metal to remove refuse.
18. Run for it!
19. Sodomize a virgin ****.
20. Sodomize anything that is not male. (Fuzzy things look out!)
21. Make sure your album goes out of print about 3 years after its release... so it becomes 'cult'.
22. When in doubt, say "True Norwiegian Black Metal!"
23. If that doesn't work, blast beats can fill any silence.
24. Turn any cross you find upside-down.
25. Nipple twisting is not a blackmetal activity..
26. Write a cult, underground, grim and necro zine. Feature only interviews with bands no one has heard of, even "true" blackmetallers.
27. Never ever, EVER, EVER be open-minded.
28. Never write songs less than 15 minutes long and containing less than 15 adjectives in the title.
29. a) paint face. b) go in woods. c) act like troll.
30. Don't be Mortiis (or Dani Filth).
31. Don't wear white shoes after Labor Day.
32. Don't make jokes only your mom would get.
33. Don't make jokes.
34. When in doubt, scowl with eyes downturned.
35. Don't eat Marshmellow Peeps.
36. To producers of black metal albums: remember...no low end! If it doesn't hurt to listen to, it can't be "true".
37. Make sure that no less than half of the musicians on your album are "session" members.
38. When in concert, always growl names of songs so that they are imperceptible. This will ensure that anyone who doesn't have your "cult" LP won't get it.
39. Never play live.
40. When getting ready to go to a show, completely forget that the other people there are not going to the show to look at you.
41. Use barbed wire whenever possible. (Note: this assists in being both "necro" and "grim".)
42. When asked by a non true BMer what BM is, say something like, "BM is the raw essence of pure black evil in man", in any case, make sure that by the conversations end, the other person still has no idea what black metal is.
43. Drive one of your band members to suicide, and claim he died because of the "mainstream" "infecting" the "scene".
44. Reform with "old members" and release an album intended to produce commercial success.
45. When it flops say that you meant it to fail cause anything less wouldn't be "true".
46. Have a side project. Ensure that all other members of your band also have side projects.
47. Fill out the other slots in your other member's side projects as "session" musicians.
48. Record everything in the same studio with the same producer/instruments/equipment/etc.
49. Make sure your album cover never consists of more than three colors (color options allowed: grey, black, white).
50. Publicly state that your band is "non-religious", then use the word "s****n" over 400 times on your one-song t< src=om

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gally View Drop Down
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote gally Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 26 Juillet 2007 at 23:31

waw!

stick to only one true rule;juste be yourself dude
If you work for the living, why do you kill yourself working???
-Another s*** in the system-
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Black Winter View Drop Down
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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 12:18
102.
Originally posted by gally gally wrote:

stick to only one true rule;juste be yourself dude

103. Love Norway more than your own country
Originally posted by Sandman Sandman wrote:

Sandman
VIP
pays:Norway
loooool(no offense)

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Seventh Doom - Guitariste

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crithtgoth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 13:05
ca te dit pas de faire une traduction mdr
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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 15:27
désolé pour le contenu anglais,une nouvelle truc, comparaison entre le Black metal et le Rap:

Are rap and black metal alike?

Rap: Obsessed with "keeping it real", an arbitrary set of rules
Black metal: Obsessed with "staying true", an arbitrary set of rules

Rap: Band members with fake names
Black metal: Band members with fake names

Rap: Complaints about oppression from white Christians
Black metal: Complaints about oppression from white Christians

Rap: Overly concerned with making money
Black metal: Overly concerned with not making money

Rap: Cheesy synthesizers
Black metal: Cheesy synthesizers

Rap: Barely in English
Black metal: Barely in English

Rap: Strong feelings about God
Black metal: Strong feelings about God

Rap: Black skin
Black metal: Black leather

Rap: 100 guest appearances on every album
Black metal: 100 side projects by every band member

Rap: Musicians arrested for murder
Black metal: Musicians arrested for murder

Rap: Closed-minded fanbase
Black metal: Closed-minded fanbase

Rap: Very expensive tennis shoes
Black metal: Very expensive leather boots

Rap: Imagery containing dogs
Black metal: Imagery containing wolves

Rap: Negative portrayals of whites
Black metal: Negative portrayals of Jews

Rap: Rips off samples from pop music
Black metal: Rips off ideas from classical music

Rap: Videos with super-shiny floors and cars
Black metal: Videos with super-shiny swords

Rap: Imagery of the urban jungles
Black metal: Imagery of the bleak forests

Rap: Pride in geographic region
Black metal: Pride in geographic region

Rap: Pride in own race
Black metal: Pride in own race

Rap: Songs about hanging out
Black metal: Songs about hanging people

Rap: Overly concerned with appearance
Black metal: Overly concerned with appearance

Rap: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair
Black metal: High number of guys with either no hair or long hair

Rap: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability
Black metal: Vocal style masks lack of singing ability

Rap: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics
Black metal: Take pride in their (unintentionally) humorous lyrics

Rap: Musicians face accusations of selling out
Black metal: Musicians face accusations of selling out

Rap: Unusual interest in ancestry
Black metal: Unusual interest in ancestry

Rap: Videos with scantily-clad women
Black metal: Promo photos with scantily-clad women

Rap: Booty Calls are a common theme
Black metal: A Call To Arms is a common theme

Rap: Constantly drinking alcohol
Black metal: Constantly drinking alcohol

Rap: Axing people kweshuns
Black metal: Carrying battle axes

Edited by Black Winter - 27 Juillet 2007 at 15:30

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dethronedspirit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 16:01
t'as fait du bon travail black winter Clap 
 
Originally posted by Black Winter Black Winter wrote:



Rap: Overly concerned with making money
Black metal: Overly concerned with not making money

 
la différence est la !!  ca résume tout Wink
 
 l'intervalle entre le rap et le BLACK METAL  est  immesurable il tend vers l'infinie , c'est incomparable ,
 
en tout cas c'est une bonne idée ^^ 


Edited by dethronedspirit - 27 Juillet 2007 at 16:08
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Angra Mainyu Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 16:54
je pense que c'est un topic banal.
Arrache%20Cheveuxles 101 regles de Black MetalArrache%20Cheveuxou ta trouvé ca ?????
C'est un topic pour les nouveaux née du Black Metal,je pense que tu as copier ces information d'un site et  tu la mi ici.




Originally posted by Black Winter Black Winter wrote:

102.
Originally posted by gally gally wrote:

stick to only one true rule;juste be yourself dude

103. Love Norway more than your own country
Originally posted by Sandman Sandman wrote:

Sandman
VIP
pays:Norway
loooool(no offense)


en plus au lieu d'aimer le norvege,on peux essayer de faire du bon black metal en tunisie (Juste pour les pro fan de Black Metal)
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Black Winter View Drop Down
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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 18:38
Originally posted by Ahriman Ahriman wrote:

je pense que c'est un topic banal.Arrache%20Cheveuxles 101 regles de Black MetalArrache%20Cheveuxou ta trouvé ca ?????C'est un topic pour les nouveaux née du Black Metal,je pense que tu as copier ces information d'un site et  tu la mi ici.

[QUOTE=moi dans le sujet Nowegian Metal Commercial]
c'est un truc que j'ai trouvé sur le forum MS


c'est ça le type des black metalleux qui sont "anciennement nées".

Tu le prend serieusement ou quoi?il y a un sujet intutlé "Le Black metal" si tu veux te defendre

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote crithtgoth Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 18:49
Originally posted by Ahriman Ahriman wrote:

je pense que c'est un topic banal.Arrache%20Cheveuxles 101 regles de Black MetalArrache%20Cheveuxou ta trouvé ca ?????C'est un topic pour les nouveaux née du Black Metal,je pense que tu as copier ces information d'un site et tu la mi ici.
Originally posted by Black Winter Black Winter wrote:

102.
Originally posted by gally gally wrote:

stick to only one true rule;juste be yourself dude

103. Love Norway more than your own country
Originally posted by Sandman Sandman wrote:

Sandman
VIP
pays:Norway
loooool(no offense)
en plus au lieu d'aimer le norvege,on peux essayer de faire du bon black metal en tunisie (Juste pour les pro fan de Black Metal)



c un topic tfarhid
alors pas la peine de nous montrer que tes un exelent membre et que tu c tt et tt

sinon wé il a copier c info dun autre cite et ca pr que nous en rit (ou plutot nitfarahdou )
si ta besoin de fair linteressant messieux le sérieux va sur sujet délicat ou un truc comme ca
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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 19:02
bon ensuite, et juste bech netfarhed 3la 7seb si Ahriman, qulques fotos redicules de groupes de black metal

Rob Darken
(Graveland)
allons-foret-mask-boots-sabre--photo



Immortal
(Championnat des Sumo-Karate-Black-redicule)


Maniac
(Mayhem)
version Black fatigué de Marilyn Manson




Edited by Black Winter - 27 Juillet 2007 at 19:05

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote human Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 27 Juillet 2007 at 22:25

Black Metal = Freak Show from norway

your shameful heaven is full of devils, just like me ,just , for you
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote shadow_of_doom Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Juillet 2007 at 20:17
tu as pleinenemt le droit de t'épanouir et de jouir de ton temps perdu, mais tache de moin toucher au fin fond du black sinon sa deviendra moqueur et là t'orra à assumer ta responsabilité!
Je ne suis pas contre l'idée du topic mais plutôt contre l'idée de comparer le:
St Black au rap!
et en les présentant avec tant de simulitude!
Bref fait ce que tu veux puisque de toute façon ces du tfarhid!
 
 
Give Opeth Another Listen!
Changez vers Linux, ça vaut le coup ! ! !
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote human Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 31 Juillet 2007 at 21:21
black metal fans are always srious,
your shameful heaven is full of devils, just like me ,just , for you
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 02 Août 2007 at 19:32
Originally posted by shadow_of_doom shadow_of_doom wrote:

contre l'idée de comparer le:
St Black au rap!
je vais ajouter le prefixe "St" tout de suite t'en marre plus
 
they are dead serious human LOL


Edited by Black Winter - 02 Août 2007 at 19:35

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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 16 Août 2007 at 19:31
chef d'ouevre d' Immortal "s****ns Hockey Team Mysticism"
 
 
je crois qu'ils seront mieux avec ce job


Edited by Black Winter - 19 Août 2007 at 10:34

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Triste Sire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 17 Août 2007 at 18:56
Vraiment je trouve ca trés désolant le fait de comparer le "rap" et le black ...
Meme si le topic est sous le nom de "tfarhid", ca ne me fait pas rire du tout ...(je trouve que ca a dépassé les limites de la rigolade !)
Enfin bon, peut etre que j'exagere un petit peu mais bon  ....
(je suis contre ce sujet seulement sur ce point)
Sinon la photo d'Immortal ne s'affiche pas ...
 
 
Mon ame est un tombeau, que mauvais cénobite,
Depuis l'éternité je parcours et j'habite;
Rien n'embellit les murs de ce cloitre odieux.
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Le Parrain

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Black Winter Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Août 2007 at 11:01
l'image s'affiche maintenant

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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Triste Sire Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Août 2007 at 17:27
Oui, elle s'affiche maintenant mais aprés l'avoir vu j'aurais préféré qu'elle ne s'affiche pas ...
Mon ame est un tombeau, que mauvais cénobite,
Depuis l'éternité je parcours et j'habite;
Rien n'embellit les murs de ce cloitre odieux.
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote dethronedspirit Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Août 2007 at 21:32
je crois qu on a dépassé la limite du rigolade et sois disant "tfarhid", car avec votre image cher black winter vous avez plus au moins massacré une légende meme en rigolant

au début l'idée du topic etait sympas mais maintenant ca devient
alors on doit komem savoir moderer nos régolades , j'attend une explication , merci   

Edited by dethronedspirit - 18 Août 2007 at 21:33
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Post Options Post Options   Thanks (0) Thanks(0)   Quote Dzekrifus Quote  Post ReplyReply Direct Link To This Post Posted: 18 Août 2007 at 21:53
104. Seem choked when you read jokes about BM
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